CHRONICLES OF CONCHI

I lucked out.
The Chronicles of Conchi are just things that happen with my Señora. She sometimes goes on rant or has conversations with me that kinda scare me. lol Just take a look at these: I'll write more of my experiences with her as soon as they come up.

Feeding you some fish

Frank: Under my breath: Man, I miss sushi.
Conchi: Fish? I thought you didn’t like fish.
F: Oh, I don’t, but sushi is a different kind of way to eat fish.
C: Really?
F: Yeah, I don’t like fish; I put that on my application when I applied to Granada.
C: Oh, I know. I read it. But secretly, I’ve been feeding you fish for the past two weeks.
F: ::Silently trying to remember all foods::
C: You put it down, but I didn’t care I feed you what I want.
F: What if I was allergic?
C: Oh, I went around that, the first time I fed you fish I only put in a little bit. If you didn’t react negatively to it, I knew you weren’t allergic.
F: ::looking in amazement::

Champion

My Sra. only eats breakfast and Lunch, no dinners. Breakfast consists of toast and jam (that’s how Spain does breakfast) and coffee. Lunches are huge foods consisting of three courses. She eats then. Like almost out of the gate she starts scoffing down her food. I just try to chew all 32 times. When she is almost finished she looks up at me and my food, snarls and gets fully concentrated again. She finishes.

When she finishes she drops her utensil and starts screaming in her indoor voice: CHAMPION! CHAMPION! Putting her hands up as she has just won an Olympic Gold Medal. She then starts with the stadium noises: Yeah!!! Conchi!!! Champion! She then follows this by picking up her dog, putting him on her lap. She grabs his paws puts them in the air and starts screaming again, CHAMPIONS! CHAMPIONS, AHHHH!!! YEAH!!! (Stadium voice)

Bored?

What is boredom? I have never been bored in life. Scratch your ass you say? Then get a job! I have never had time to be bored! …You? ::No answer::